When someone passes that is dear to your heart...your whole world changes....
" It seems since my father passed away, each one of us within our family were kind of lost for a while. For myself, I haven't understood why a God that tells us He loves us...could do... or allow... or whatever...take my Dad from us. It's like everything else in life...why does God allow people to suffer... I don't get it.
One day Derik and Charity came over because Derik and Shawn were getting ready to plant in less than a month, so Charity and I hung out together. I really love it when we she comes over because I feel I can talk to her about anything without being "counseled", nor does she bring "Jesus" into every conversation...she just listens...and thinks about what I had said...and tells me how she really feels about it...on anything we might be talking about...I really love that about her!
Since Dad had passed, other than my initial outbursts when I first learned of what had happened to Dad, Charity has never really spoke to me about how I felt about God and all that, or for that matter....what her thoughts were on my Dad's death.
After Derik and Shawn went outside, Charity and I thought about what we might do for a lunch...for Derik and Shawn as well as for ourselves. Charity said how she had been craving for BLT's...and so that is what we decided to make....I love BLT's as well.
So, we were checking on all of our ingredients...bacon, tomatoes, bread, etc., and Charity turned on the TV and turned it to the pop music channel...she loved that type of music. She had asked me if it was OK...and I told her: "Char...please..."mi casa es su casa"...lol. She was a big Christina Perri fan...and they were playing her song "Human", and Charity was starting to sing along..and do all these "dramatic moves" with her arms and facial expressions. She was funny...and when the song had concluded...we just both stopped what we were doing...and kind of stared at one another for a moment. I then said to Charity: "You do know this song is from the "Twilight Saga"...about vampires and stuff?" Charity smiled and said: "Yes...yes I do...I just think the words...are like so real, lol." I smiled...and then I asked Char' the "question that had been haunting me.."Charity...Why did Dad die?...I mean like now...he still had more life to live..and none of us were ready for it...especially Mom. I don't want keep blaming God for what happened...and I know I spoke raw when it first happened...yet, I really do wonder."
Charity thought about what I had asked her...and sang some of the chorus from Christina Perri's song: "But I'm only human, and I bleed when I fall down. I'm only human, I crash and I breakdown, I'm only human, only human...just a little human."
Then we sat at the breakfast nook, there was a few items we needed to make BLT's, and we were going to have to make a quick run to the store.
Charity then said: "Annie...that is one of those "big questions about life. There are many that feel the same way you do...you know...like: " Why does God allow people to suffer...Why does God allow diseases, war, abuse...infections...all that stuff. If you really want my opinion on it...I will give it to you... I just want you to know...I'm really OK with how you feel...about God and all that." I looked at her and said: "That's why I really want to know what you think...because you are cool with how I feel about God...my Dad...and what happened and all that."
"OK"..replied Charity..."Here is how I see all this suffering and pain...we see, we hear about, and we feel...everyday...an it seems to be getting more and more...."
" It seems since my father passed away, each one of us within our family were kind of lost for a while. For myself, I haven't understood why a God that tells us He loves us...could do... or allow... or whatever...take my Dad from us. It's like everything else in life...why does God allow people to suffer... I don't get it.
One day Derik and Charity came over because Derik and Shawn were getting ready to plant in less than a month, so Charity and I hung out together. I really love it when we she comes over because I feel I can talk to her about anything without being "counseled", nor does she bring "Jesus" into every conversation...she just listens...and thinks about what I had said...and tells me how she really feels about it...on anything we might be talking about...I really love that about her!
Since Dad had passed, other than my initial outbursts when I first learned of what had happened to Dad, Charity has never really spoke to me about how I felt about God and all that, or for that matter....what her thoughts were on my Dad's death.
After Derik and Shawn went outside, Charity and I thought about what we might do for a lunch...for Derik and Shawn as well as for ourselves. Charity said how she had been craving for BLT's...and so that is what we decided to make....I love BLT's as well.
Charity thought about what I had asked her...and sang some of the chorus from Christina Perri's song: "But I'm only human, and I bleed when I fall down. I'm only human, I crash and I breakdown, I'm only human, only human...just a little human."
Then we sat at the breakfast nook, there was a few items we needed to make BLT's, and we were going to have to make a quick run to the store.
Charity then said: "Annie...that is one of those "big questions about life. There are many that feel the same way you do...you know...like: " Why does God allow people to suffer...Why does God allow diseases, war, abuse...infections...all that stuff. If you really want my opinion on it...I will give it to you... I just want you to know...I'm really OK with how you feel...about God and all that." I looked at her and said: "That's why I really want to know what you think...because you are cool with how I feel about God...my Dad...and what happened and all that.""OK"..replied Charity..."Here is how I see all this suffering and pain...we see, we hear about, and we feel...everyday...an it seems to be getting more and more...."
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