Have you ever been around people that just "drain you"? And the crazy part, it is often not the person you don't want to hang with...it is a close friend...or an Aunt...or a sister. Yet still because you are a Christian...you have been "called" to love one another...and simply absorb all the grief another may dump on you. Is it damaging?....I think it can be.
Reading the stories of Jesus, we often depict Him a calm, cool, and collected sort of guy that never really got upset over anything...He would simply react by speaking some "awesome words of wisdom"...and simply move on to His next scenario in life. He was "emotionally free"...nothing phased Him...right?
And here we are, facing our daily relationships in life, getting bombarded from "head games", control freaks, and people that seem to constantly want to get their way and not be concerned what matters to...me, or has no care as to what I may think about a particular situation. Then, in order to rationalize my "hurt of being ignored", I convince myself I am being selfish, and simply yield to the other person's demands or control.
{Note: This article isn't geared toward parenting...this is about adults to other adults who will use their power (financial, popularity, or success in general) to demean and cause others to feel less about themselves...a type of "superiority" over another.}
That is...until one day...I "woke up". I realized....maybe because I am a Christian doesn't give others the right to tell me what to do...and control my every step in life. Maybe it really isn't about selfishness...maybe it is more about learning who I am in Christ Jesus and not allowing others to dictate my life, maybe...I am not really helping others who simply want to dominate my decisions in life. Maybe they need to see through me that "pushing others around"...is wrong and evil, and has the power to hurt others...often times permanently. Maybe I need stand up and declare: I refuse to live in fear of what you may do if I don't accept your demands...I will trust Him instead!
I think it all begins with how and why we are created. It seems to me many people as they reach adulthood have all these weird things going on...particularly in reference to relating to others...or should I say controlling others. People are full of sad stories...always being "victims" of daily episodes in their lives, having "one-way" boundaries...meaning they want in every part of my life including my choices...but I am not even allowed on the "front door step" of their lives. Others seem to encourage me to always have a "get-even" attitude with others because life is so unfair and people will harm you if they can. I have been taught to put up "concrete walls" if necessary toward others because "others" are really not people....they are simply "roles"...for your life, and they need to submit to their role (forcibly if necessary). And, I hear how you must always know "the facts" about others, although mixing up the facts or omitting some facts is perfectly ok...as long as it helps you to reach your objective. And above all, the Number #1 Rule: It's not me that needs to change MY behavior toward others...it is ALWAYS them...ALWAYS! If it means to argue, put-off, threaten. or totally ignore another..."So be it"...never yield to changing your behavior...period!
Then, one day I happen to be reading a Psalm....Psalm 139, and what God had written in the Sacred Scripture...was quite different than what I had heard from those who claim success in life by controlling others.
Psalm 139 is all about how God takes special time in creating each one of us. His intent in this chapter is not to create us to live in a "scared fear" of Him, one that demands His control...instead...He does not desire that we hide from Him at all. He wants us to find enjoyment confiding in Him, trust in Him, and wants to be a help in the desires and thoughts that originate from our very hearts, He wants to be there to encourage and offer assistance on any questions that arise from within us. He wants us above all to have the freedom to make choices, to voice our opinions on things, and to find excitement in the dreams and desires that not only I have,,,but in the dreams and desires of others as well....for all of our various dreams and goals in life originate...from Him!
The Scripture states that God "separated us from anything else", and with that comes characteristics each one of us have that is described by God Himself: when He thinks of us words like Unique and Precious are in His thoughts...and I almost imagine how we bring a joyful tear to God's very eyes.
Because of this fact we are wonderful made by the Creator of the universe Himself...and yet we are separated from anything He has ever created...the Evil thoughts of man are not what God ever intended. We should never allow ourselves to be overcome by what the fear of other men may threaten to do or say, we need not fear the hurtful thought of rejection, and we should not be "bullied" or forced to do what others demand of us...these things were never a part of the original plan as described in Psalm 139.
When we look in the mirror...what is it do we see? Are our motives right toward others?...or are we out to use others for our own personal benefit? Do we even care about others and their desires about life? Do we even know what they are? Do we respect who they are...do we care if they are hurting or perhaps scared to take "the nest step in life'? Do we understand others at all...or is it simply..."How can this person benefit me...today?"
Let me ask you...can you say this verse of Scripture as a prayer to God...and mean it from your heart?.....
A Gleaning from Psalm 139:14
" God, you have taken such a special interest in creating...me! Because of Your love for me, my birth into this life is nothing short of "breathtaking"! My body and soul...including all my emotions and thoughts are beautifully made and marvelously done...by You!
And...in my heart...may I always be aware of this. You have made me to be my own unique self...and may all my actions and the way I treat others....give Glory to You! Let my heart never have any doubt about this!" Amen
Reading the stories of Jesus, we often depict Him a calm, cool, and collected sort of guy that never really got upset over anything...He would simply react by speaking some "awesome words of wisdom"...and simply move on to His next scenario in life. He was "emotionally free"...nothing phased Him...right?
And here we are, facing our daily relationships in life, getting bombarded from "head games", control freaks, and people that seem to constantly want to get their way and not be concerned what matters to...me, or has no care as to what I may think about a particular situation. Then, in order to rationalize my "hurt of being ignored", I convince myself I am being selfish, and simply yield to the other person's demands or control.{Note: This article isn't geared toward parenting...this is about adults to other adults who will use their power (financial, popularity, or success in general) to demean and cause others to feel less about themselves...a type of "superiority" over another.}
That is...until one day...I "woke up". I realized....maybe because I am a Christian doesn't give others the right to tell me what to do...and control my every step in life. Maybe it really isn't about selfishness...maybe it is more about learning who I am in Christ Jesus and not allowing others to dictate my life, maybe...I am not really helping others who simply want to dominate my decisions in life. Maybe they need to see through me that "pushing others around"...is wrong and evil, and has the power to hurt others...often times permanently. Maybe I need stand up and declare: I refuse to live in fear of what you may do if I don't accept your demands...I will trust Him instead!
I think it all begins with how and why we are created. It seems to me many people as they reach adulthood have all these weird things going on...particularly in reference to relating to others...or should I say controlling others. People are full of sad stories...always being "victims" of daily episodes in their lives, having "one-way" boundaries...meaning they want in every part of my life including my choices...but I am not even allowed on the "front door step" of their lives. Others seem to encourage me to always have a "get-even" attitude with others because life is so unfair and people will harm you if they can. I have been taught to put up "concrete walls" if necessary toward others because "others" are really not people....they are simply "roles"...for your life, and they need to submit to their role (forcibly if necessary). And, I hear how you must always know "the facts" about others, although mixing up the facts or omitting some facts is perfectly ok...as long as it helps you to reach your objective. And above all, the Number #1 Rule: It's not me that needs to change MY behavior toward others...it is ALWAYS them...ALWAYS! If it means to argue, put-off, threaten. or totally ignore another..."So be it"...never yield to changing your behavior...period!
Then, one day I happen to be reading a Psalm....Psalm 139, and what God had written in the Sacred Scripture...was quite different than what I had heard from those who claim success in life by controlling others.
Psalm 139 is all about how God takes special time in creating each one of us. His intent in this chapter is not to create us to live in a "scared fear" of Him, one that demands His control...instead...He does not desire that we hide from Him at all. He wants us to find enjoyment confiding in Him, trust in Him, and wants to be a help in the desires and thoughts that originate from our very hearts, He wants to be there to encourage and offer assistance on any questions that arise from within us. He wants us above all to have the freedom to make choices, to voice our opinions on things, and to find excitement in the dreams and desires that not only I have,,,but in the dreams and desires of others as well....for all of our various dreams and goals in life originate...from Him!
The Scripture states that God "separated us from anything else", and with that comes characteristics each one of us have that is described by God Himself: when He thinks of us words like Unique and Precious are in His thoughts...and I almost imagine how we bring a joyful tear to God's very eyes.
Because of this fact we are wonderful made by the Creator of the universe Himself...and yet we are separated from anything He has ever created...the Evil thoughts of man are not what God ever intended. We should never allow ourselves to be overcome by what the fear of other men may threaten to do or say, we need not fear the hurtful thought of rejection, and we should not be "bullied" or forced to do what others demand of us...these things were never a part of the original plan as described in Psalm 139.
When we look in the mirror...what is it do we see? Are our motives right toward others?...or are we out to use others for our own personal benefit? Do we even care about others and their desires about life? Do we even know what they are? Do we respect who they are...do we care if they are hurting or perhaps scared to take "the nest step in life'? Do we understand others at all...or is it simply..."How can this person benefit me...today?"
Let me ask you...can you say this verse of Scripture as a prayer to God...and mean it from your heart?.....
A Gleaning from Psalm 139:14
" God, you have taken such a special interest in creating...me! Because of Your love for me, my birth into this life is nothing short of "breathtaking"! My body and soul...including all my emotions and thoughts are beautifully made and marvelously done...by You!
And...in my heart...may I always be aware of this. You have made me to be my own unique self...and may all my actions and the way I treat others....give Glory to You! Let my heart never have any doubt about this!" Amen
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