Sunday, September 27, 2015

There was this man named Joel...


Image result for photos of the prophet Joel Eight hundred and fifty years before the Messiah was born in Bethlehem to identify with us in our human state, there was this man named Joel. He was a prophet in Israel and other than knowing his father's name, we know nothing of him.

 In this book of the Old Testament appropriately named Joel, his writing emphasized what his people had long forgotten. The people of this land known as Israel had long abandoned the written commandments of their God. They simply did not recognize the old and supposedly outdated laws. With the absence of His laws, this Jewish nation no longer sought after their God for direction. Federal laws, foreign policy, and plans for the future were not dependent on any blessings from above. Besides, they had forgotten the value of doing so.
 A drought existed in this land. It had been so long since the rains had come the crops were weak and producing little. If this was not enough of a threat to their economy and food for the inhabitants, the locusts came and destroyed the minimal crops that had survived. As a result, staples like grain and barley had to be purchased from neighboring countries, some of these were enemies to the nation of Israel. 

 Yet, this was only the beginning of sorrows for Israel and her people.

 Joel's mission in life was to remind his people to learn the ways of the Lord. If they would return to study and give respect to the Law of Moses and God's Mighty Commands, it would not be too late to turn this time of desperation around...and receive God's blessings once again.
Image result for photos of drama queens Joel also spoke of "The Day of the Lord", a time when if his people didn't make the necessary changes, God would remove His guard over them and leave them alone...until this day arrived.
 In the early verses of chapter two, Joel makes it clear God does not want his people to act like a bunch of "drama queens." He didn't want to see them simply ripping their clothes in sorrow. The reason being their sorrow was not because they were in repentance of rejecting God's Mighty Commands, they were only feeling sorry for themselves and the current conditions they were living in. Joel goes on to explain God was not after their torn clothing, He wanted their hearts!

                                                        A Gleaning from Joel 3: 28-32

" I will pour My Spirit on every nationality that opens their hearts to Me. You will then hear your sons and daughters speaking of things I will do for them in the future, the elders of the land will dream dreams I give to them, and the young men will have visions of My plans.
 Even the men and women who serve in menial lifestyles will find themselves made alive by My Spirit.

 Wonders in the skies will appear and violent scenes on earth. There will be blood and fire along with large billows and tall columns of smoke. The sun will become dark and the moon will cast a blood-red color. All this will be seen before this great and terrible "Day of the Lord" arrives.
Image result for photos of God's Spirit Yet, everyone who calls to the Lord for help...will get the help they need. The areas of Mount Zion and Jerusalem will experience a great rescue, among them the survivors whom the Lord has called. "

Note: Although this book is written by a man we know nothing about, it has been referenced in various circles for both warnings and outpourings of God's Spirit.  Joel's message was a message of hope amidst a national calamity. I personally think Joel was excited for his people to receive His Spirit if they gave their hearts to Him. The "Day of the Lord" is mentioned throughout the Sacred Scriptures. Judgment will always follow repentance. If Joel were alive today, I think he would read aloud the very words he had written centuries before.

Saturday, September 26, 2015

Concinnity Writing and Critique: " The Memory and the Mirror"

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Judgment vs. Repentance: Saint Paul's thoughts in Romans 2: 3-4


Image result for photos of ancient Rome Rome! The most important city of the entire world in the days of Saint Paul. The Roman Empire had expanded to many parts of the known world and its army was vast and strong. The rulers of Rome were powerful and the wealth of their national treasury was great. Rome was a great trade center and many slaves were in Rome to assist the citizens of Rome in a vibrant economy.

 The letter to the Romans as it appears in the New Testament had been sent to the Christian church in Rome by Paul, a Roman citizen himself.
  In other Pauline letters in the New Testament, Paul had been to the locations he had sent these various letters. He often was the founder of many of these churches, yet this particular letter was quite different. Why? The Christian church in Rome was already established and Paul had never been there.

 Around 49 A.D., the Emperor Claudius declared an order that all people of the Jewish faith and origin must leave Rome. They had been involved with trouble within the great city. One Roman writer named Suetonius wrote of someone named "Chestus" had caused much of this trouble. Numerous historians think this "Chestus" is the Christus (the Christ) of the Christian faith. What we do know is the Jewish people strongly opposed those who believed in Christus, even though the Christian faith had originated within the framework of Judaism. The real focus of this trouble for Jewish people living in Rome were the ones within their own community who had accepted this Christus as their Messiah. 

 It is thought Saint Paul had written this letter to the Romans around 57 A.D. Although as mentioned Paul had not been to Rome, he did know a number of people who were a part of the Christian church in Rome.
 Saint Paul did not actually arrive in Rome until 60 A.D., and he came as a prisoner. Paul had been sent for judgment by the Roman courts in his involvement and personal belief in this One known as Christus. Although a prisoner during his visit, Paul was given limited freedom to preach and teach others of his faith in this Messiah, and even spoke of his intentions to visit Spain.
 In 64 A.D., a terrible fire happened in Rome, commonly known as "the great fire of Rome." The infamous Nero had become Emperor and accused Christians of starting this fire. A Roman writer named Tacitus mentioned a great amount of Christians resided in Rome during that time. 
Image result for photos of judging others After the great fire, Christians were viewed in Rome as "enemies of the human family." Numerous historians claim it was Nero himself who had purposely started this great fire.

  In this letter to the Christian church, Paul writes from the city of Corinth as dictated to a man named Tertius. The reason for this letter was to give clarity to the gospel of this One known as Christus, to offer practical advice on how Christians should treat and respect one another, and to address Christian behavior toward rulers and those in authority including those of Roman rule.
 Saint Paul was equally concerned over the division within the Roman Christian community between the Jewish and Gentile sects. Arguments had begun to arise with this body of local believers for two distinct reasons: 1) Christians from the Jewish faith claimed God had given Old Testament law that must continue to be obeyed by all, Jew and Gentile alike. 2) The Gentile Christians (non-Jewish) contended by accepting Christus they were free from old religious laws including the laws of the Old Testament which by this time were mixed with Jewish traditions and customs.
  Saint Paul addresses the subject of judging one another. He brings his argument as many writers would at that time, creating a person in his mind that has strong opinions about judging. Saint Paul describes a man who is not given a name yet is one that is quick to make judgments about others that leads to accusations. This man apparently thinks he has little or no error in his own logic, ignoring any sin in his own life yet pointing out sin in others.  Paul focuses his emphasis on God's meaning of judgment and how it is to be demonstrated in our lives. This imaginary person who is compelled to point out sin and make judgment of others has concluded God's patience and kindness toward all men is of little or no value. Paul then writes this is a wrong way of thinking , rather to put focus on the true message of Christus; called to a true repentance and causing us to change the way we think...including our acceptance of others.

 Paul begins this letter to the believers in Rome as he did with many of the Pauline epistles, putting his name at the beginning of the letter with a description of who he is.


                                                           A Gleaning from Romans 2: 3-4

" We are all very human...human beings indeed! As human beings, are we called to judge one another from our personal views on life? It seems when given the chance, we are quick to point fingers at another in a seemingly vain attempt to distract God from our own selfish judgmental attitudes. The truth being we see ourselves as a type of judge and are called to a life of warning others of what is to come if they do not change according to our instructions. Does this rationale not originate from our own insecure way of thinking? Do we think because we are now His people that God is happy with our judging of one another, that God is such a great guy  if we do make an error in judgment with others, God will somehow get us off the hook and not others? 
Image result for photos of passion of christ Don't you see the silliness in such logic? God is One who has exhausting patience toward us. Yet, we are not to ignore the true message of Christus through irrational and condemning judgment of others. Think this through again! 
 I am of a complete persuasion God is kind, patient, and willing to suffer through as we learn to cultivate a friendship in Him. This does not allow me to view this God as ignorant, soft, or blind. Judging others does not lead anyone to Christus. It is His kindness towards each of us that invites and nurtures this friendship. Only through this train of thought the eyes of our heart are opened and gift of repentance is welcomed. 
 Judging others does not lead anyone to the arms of our loving Christus. It is His kindness toward us which empowers us to be kind with one another that ushers in this unique way of drawing hearts to desire a friendship with Him. It is the avenue that leads us to the gift of repentance and creates a desire for us to want to change and please Him. It gives purpose to our existence and is the very encouragement we need to make radical life changes."

  

Monday, September 21, 2015

Thursday, September 17, 2015

"Wait a minute... Maybe There are Leaders Here!"

 I love politics! I have since I was a child. Those three letters "JFK" still brings tears to my eyes. "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country," might be the most inspiring statement I ever heard in my lifetime.
 I am not one to vote a straight ticket. My approach to presidential candidates has been determined by the following categories: 1. Are they a leader?  Do their words come from their heart and do those words make me proud to be an American? 2. Integrity. The definition in reference to the political arena is "a state where people of a country has a sensed of wholeness and not divided." In relation to personal agenda; ethics, morality, and general personal beliefs are noted, yet decency, fairness, and being truthful are of greater importance to me. 3. Delivery. When a candidate speaks, are they condescending or do they identify with me as a listener who is interested in their views? 4. Genuine. Although this ties in with the other factors already mentioned, I ponder the words that are expressed as being real...or is it a "smoke screen" to simply get my vote. 5. Respect. How a candidate treats their challengers can determine what they really think of me as a common voter.

 With that being the premise for watching the Presidential Republican debate (the second debate), on September 16th, 2015, I definitely came away with a feeling of hope. 
 I tend to vote more with the democratic party more than republican, sometimes I have found myself liberal in voting for a leader of our country. Yet, I have not discounted the conservative party and have done my best to listen to their ideas and what their agenda entails.
 In recent years for example, I was appalled at the selection of a Sarah Palin, who I respect as a person but in my mind had no business running as a vice president. The republicans put her in a vulnerable position. Could she make a good vice-president? Perhaps, but it takes time and experience. Her recent solution to the California drought was a prime example of her need for more experience, rather than defending herself and creating a comedy hour on YouTube.

 Yet, the republicans have seemed to learn well and presented a candidate Carly Fiorina, who was not only refreshing but she brought a clear message: women are equally intelligent, strong, and can be leaders of our country. Her response to Donald's Trump comments on her physical appearance was outstanding from where I sat. She simply replied : " I think women all over this country heard very clearly what Mr. Trump said." 
 I found myself becoming impressed with Carly Fiorina with her comments from various questions. I think what I loved most: I did not get the feeling she was concerned whether I liked her or not, her motive instead was to demand my respect. She very much did that.  I did listen to her the following morning and she made a powerful statement that touches the heart: " Life is not measured in years, it is measured in love." She was relating this to the loss of her child and her battle with cancer. What was equally impressive, she presented herself objectively, not tugging on my emotions or wanting any emotion from me that would cause me to feel sorry for her. Her statement on measuring years reminded me of another republican who had commented on years in our lives. " In the end, it's not the years in your life that count, it's the life in your years." His name was Abraham Lincoln.
 Her cross? The clarity of what happened at H.P.

 I found Jeb Bush to be interesting. He has a kind of "hat-trick" to do, not afraid to identify and be in support of his family including "W",  yet being able to allow the public see his leadership experience demonstrated in Florida and single himself out as a true leader.  
 Jeb's response to Trump's comment on why President Obama became president being a direct result of "W's" leadership in which Abraham Lincoln would not have had a chance, was a mixed result for me. Jeb responded: " You know what? As it relates to my brother, there is one thing I know for sure. He kept us safe."  My thought?...well, yes and no. We did have 9/11, and to this day it has never been clarified what the administration really knew before the horrible tragedy happened. Although I agree to this day Saddam Hussein was an evil that needed addressed, the reasoning Saddam's build-up of nuclear weaponry was never made clear or found to be true. The fact 4486 U.S. soldiers have been killed in Iraq and 2345 in Afghanistan does not make me feel "W" kept us safe. And like ever other "war" in my lifetime, we wimply pulled out without the sense we had done good. I would simply like to see Jeb expand his view on this statement before I make any assessment.

 I thought Marco Rubio, who I seem to never get out of my mind his taking a drink of water in the Romney nomination process, was impressive and I gained a deeper respect for him. He approached  Trump and his "wizard of oz" image with intelligence, objectiveness, and clarity. I thought he come across genuine in his concerns.
 Huckabee and Cruz were a disappointment to me. I think both these individuals have a passion to what their intents are, yet seemed to play it safe in their responses and were predictable to the questions they were asked. Cruz particularly has mellowed over time, and I would hope to hear more substance in his tea party ideas. I have an understanding of how they define American values, I just think it shallow and judgmental. The original Boston tea-party was because of taxation without representation, I am not convinced the present agenda of Ted Cruz has the same mentality. Besides, the reason tea was thrown into the Boston harbor was not because of tax on tea. It was because of the tax on Rum, yet nobody in their right mind would thrown good rum overboard! lol.
 Huckabee...just doesn't seem real relaxed, almost in a defensive posture. I would really like to see more of a 'real Mike." His choice on putting his wife on a $10 bill...a little too much for me.
 I did happen to like Walker's idea of Clara Ann Barton on a bill. She was a true heroine of not only women's suffrage, but humanitarian efforts were extraordinary. She was the founder of the Red Cross. 

 I like the reasonings for autism by Carson and Trump. It definitely brought clarity to a national concern, and supported vaccinations yet with smaller doses over a longer period of time. Both Carson and Trump seemed genuine on the subject.
 John Kasich...was there. I know the time for speaking was unbalanced and limited, I just didn't take anything with me that Kasich had said after the debate had concluded.
 Chris Christie seemed energetic and emphasized a cohesiveness in the party. I would like to hear more on specifics as to how this might be attained.
 Rand Paul?...Well, I always thought his response on various topics to be more aggressive. I didn't get that in this debate, rather bland if you want my real opinion.
 Mr Trump? Well, I think he found himself in more of a "big league" environment. It demanded more substance and less one-liners. I think his shallowness was a little more exposed. Maybe the curtain behind Trump saying "I am the great oz" is starting to open.
 I think Trump should have kept silent after Carly made her comment on her appearance, instead it was so fake saying she is beautiful. And what if he did offer is wife a public apology as Jeb suggested?...that might have impressed me more.

 I did like Huckabee's comment on the Iran deal. He said Obama and democrats are treating this like a Magna Carta while the Iranians treat it like toilet paper. 

 Overall, I do think the republican party is beginning to recover...as long as they keep it real. The setting at the Reagan Library was understandable with the Air force One being in the background.  I wonder what effect it might have if it would have been in a different area, like a small town in the Midwest?

  Some other comments I took with me from the debate:

" We don't need an apprentice in the White House, we have one there right now." Scott Walker
" She (Hilary Clinton) believes in the systematic murder of children in the want to preserve body parts...in a way that maximizes the value for sale of profit." Chris Christie

 The fetus thought by Carly...her passion was super impressive and her specific points well described. She was brilliant on this subject.
 I think this is what I heard from her and not what I heard from Ben Carson. I think Carson is a wonderful individual, but more in a support role at this point and not for President of the United States. 
Image result for photos of jeb bush
 What I heard tonight was not just a running for Presidents, I see future Secretary of State, Ambassadors, and people who will truly support and change the some things for the better.

 Right now, I would consider a Carly Fiorina (president)/ Jeb Bush (vice-president) ticket, or perhaps vica-versa.

 But, I have not ruled out "Bernie" yet!

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Living with Guilt

Image result for photos of feeling guilt How we interpret what we hear and what we relay to others can sometimes depend on our emotional outlook on life. We have all heard the phrase " I don't get what you are saying." Although we speak the same language doesn't mean we experience or even view life from the same perspective. Guilt is one influence on how we conduct our lives and how we share our lives in conversations with one another.

 Guilt in noun form is defined as an emotion we have within us: a feeling that identifies the fact we may have done something wrong or have failed in a particular obligation. Guilt in verb form usually induces another to feel guilty over something we may not approve of.
 Guilt has been around for a long time. It is found in all of our lives and this troubling emotion can be traced in psychology to have its origin even in early childhood. A simple "you are stupid" or "you are ugly" can have devastating effects on our lives that for some...may last an entire lifetime.

 We come in contact with feelings of guilt almost daily. Even in church services, guilt is an emotion used to manipulate a listener to the gospel of Christ Jesus.
 So, is guilt a good thing one might ask? I would conclude it is not...at least not by itself. Guilt has the power to point out what we may be doing wrong at the moment, yet offers no solution as to how we are to correct ourselves. Guilt was not a word used in the Old Testament Hebrew. Forgiveness, repentance, and new direction are written of, but the word guilt is not recognized. 

Why?

Because guilt does not show us how to change, yet it conjures fear within us if we don't change. Many times guilt can leave our self esteem broken, and for some, shattered in pieces.

 Coming to Christ Jesus can be tainted by this emotion we call guilt. We accept Him into our hearts because we simply...do not want to go to Hell! We accept Him into our lives because we are in fear if we do not, even though reading the bible and praying might be quite boring to do.
 In a Pew study, a government survey organization, it is now reported up to 75% of Christians who attend church regularly do not read the bible, and as many as 50% do not pray...unless they are in a bad situation or perhaps pray a more formal prayer, like at church reciting The Lord's Prayer (with sincerity and passion of course!).

Why?

As I thought about this, I came to this conclusion. Actually, my conclusion ended with a question. Is Christ Jesus really someone I can call a real friend? Or, am I overcome with failing Him so often that I simply have given up on the notion of having a friendship with Him?
 I then thought of the friends I do have in this life. They may be few yet this what I have noticed with some of my close "buds."
Image result for photos of feeling of guilt 1. They don't judge me. They accept me as I am, even if they disagree with some views or choices I make in life. Is Christ Jesus like that with me?
 2. They are genuine. They don't hammer down on me every time I screw up. Is Christ Jesus like that with me?
3. They got my back. I trust them. Do I trust Jesus like that?
4. They are dependable. I know when I need help, they will be there. Is Christ Jesus like that to me?
5. They share in my humor. When is the last time you and Jesus had a good laugh together?
6. My close friends love me for who I am, imperfect and all. Is Christ Jesus like that to me?

 We live in a world of instagrams, Hallmark quotes, one line bible verses, and daily affirmations. Do you know some Christians are committed to reading daily horoscopes in the local newspaper before reading something out of the bible. Why? No guilt! You don't have to say I am sorry each day. Besides, it's not that a person wants to change their life, it is a matter of hoping things might get better...right?

 I think both those who attend a Christian church regularly and those who have no church affiliation have a common trait. They are prone to guilt from failing to live up to a certain set of beliefs or standard. 
 Many ancient cultures had a certain set of rules to live by. The 10 commandments are not alone in this train of thought. There was the Babylonian Code of Hammurabi, The Twelve Tables of Roman Law, The Hittite Law, Traditional Chinese Law, and the Islamic laws still followed today, the Sharia Law.

 In our Christian learning through the teachings of the ancient Scriptures, many find it a collection of books that are hard to understand. One example is in our very acceptance of Christ Jesus into our hearts. One verse in the New Testament states if we confess the Lord Jesus with our mouths we shall be saved. Yet Jesus then comments in another portion of the gospels how many will " call Me Lord yet I never knew them." Hmmm? And our guilt continues...

 Guilt often does not allow a person to be open and honest when one prays. When I bow my head in prayer in private, what thoughts are actually running through my head? What am I really thinking? Am I afraid of Him and pray a prayer like the Lord's Prayer with a passion and sincerity to kind of "butter up" Him a little? Is He even there?...or do I just hope He is? Can I really allow myself to be exposed and explain to Him what is really on my mind? Does my guilt in failing His Commands prevent me from ever knowing Him as a real friend?
 In chapters 2 and 3 in the book of Revelation, Jesus speaks directly to 7 different body of believers we commonly know as the 7 churches. To one local church, the church of Laodicea, Jesus comments concerning their friendship to Him with these words (paraphrase): "I would rather you be hot or cold. What I don't want from any of you is to be lukewarm. If you are lukewarm, I will "spew you out of My mouth."(King James version)" In a more modern translation this portion of Scripture might be read " Every time I think of you, I want to puke."
 So what is Jesus saying here? I think what He is conveying is He knows there are times in life we are loaded with guilt and misunderstandings to our friendship with Him. Yet here is what He does not want us to do! Don't act like we are good buddies with Him in front of others when the truth is...we may not be real friends at all!

 I happen to participate in a number of various interest groups on-line. I belong to a political group that welcomes both left-wing liberals and right-wing conservatives. I belong to sports groups and literary groups as well. I learn much from these various groups...how others think and how I really think!
 Many of these groups break off into tangents, like Christian literary groups and general literary groups. One night I happen to be on a Christian literary group site. As many of you know from this blog, I am an Edgar Allan Poe enthusiast in reference to one of my favorite literary authors. 
 We were in a discussion on who inspires us in our writing techniques. I mentioned how Edgar Allan Poe's style of writing had a profound influence with me. I do recognize his literary achievements are dark in nature, yet his style of writing is so appealing to me. I love how he could describe a main character of a story and slowly show the madness of this character. The Tell-Tale Heart, The Black Cat, and of course The Raven are but a few of his literary accomplishments.
 In the midst of this discussion, I received a comment questioning me as to being a Christian and liking Edgar Allan Poe. The specific comment was " I don't know how you could call yourself a Christian and like Edgar Allan Poe."  
 At first, I simply laughed and really appreciated the honesty of the comment. Yet, was I now going to allow guilt take over because of my personal liking of Poe? So, I wrote back "I don't know how you can call yourself a Christian and NOT like Edgar Allan Poe." My point?...Guilt can find its way into our lives in the most honest and raw discussions.

 I think in reference to on-line discussions with various groups, I was most intrigued when involved in a discussion on Christianity and how we apply it to our everyday lives. The specific subject was knowing Christ and how the message of salvation influences our lives. A lady comments: " I have been been a Christian for 47 years. If I may be honest and God not strike me dead, I would really like to know what I did that upset God so much He felt compelled to send His Only Dear Son for me, to die a gruesome and horrible death for something I had done. My question from my heart is: What did I do? I am far from perfect but have always tried to respect and adhere to His commands. What did I do that He thinks my actions in life are nothing more than filthy rags or why I am taught to sing Amazing Grace referring to myself as a wretch?" 
Image result for photos of passion of christ For some this question appears offensive, perhaps even arrogant. Yet, I thought how Jesus might enjoy a well thought out question such as this. Why? Because it challenges our feelings of guilt and puts us in a position...to really know Him and why He did what He did.

                                             Thoughts About Guilt

There will always be reasons, to feel not good enough,
And it's hard at the end of the day.

Instead of seeking a real friendship with Him,
We find distractions, some kind of release,
The guilt in life seem to ooze from my veins.

I want to confess, I want to free my mind,
To have this weight finally lifted from me.
Maybe then, I could find some peace this night.

There are nights my home does seem dark and cold,
The fears of guilt wander endlessly within me.
Is there a way someone can pull me from all this wreckage, 
The wreckage of a guilt-ridden life, now a constant silent revelry?

It gets old livin' a straight life,
Everywhere I turn fear reminds me
There is nothing but vultures and thieves at my back.

There is an inner storm within me,
This storm that continues to twist in my mind,
I feel like I am living a lie,
To make up for all that I lack.

Is life nothing more living out a madness?
I look so glorious to others, while the depth of sadness remains deep.
Almost a glorious sadness,
Yet it is here I find myself driven to my knees.

  Guilt? It can play havoc within us. Guilt is a real emotion that can prevent us from being who Christ Jesus really intended us to be.
 I leave you with a quote: "The scariest monsters are the ones that lurk...within our souls."

 This is a quote from...oh yea, Edgar! Edgar Allan Poe.

   

Sunday, September 6, 2015

An Interview with...Edgar Allan Poe

                                                         Prologue
  Many considered him an eccentric, certainly associated with horror. He is often identified as one with dark, mysterious, and sinister thoughts. Yet, others like myself considered him a tormented genius. His writings are unparalleled in content with a depth that leaves one in a life long bewilderment as to his true identity.
 In this make-believe interview,  may I introduce...Mr. Edgar Allan Poe.

                                                         An Interview

Narrator: Good morning sir. I am quite honored and equally delighted you are here!
Poe: Thank-you. Our conversation we are about to engage might be quite easier for me than for you! ( Poe smiles as he looks into the narrator's eyes for the first time.)
Narrator: Oh, why would that be? Do you prefer Mr. Poe or may I call you Edgar?
Poe: Whatever is comfortable for you. Some, like my dearest Virginia simply called me Eddie. As to the difficulty of this interview from your perspective, I have left my earthly surroundings. Thank Heaven! The crisis, the danger is past, and the lingering illness is over at last, and this fever called "living" is conquered at last.
Narrator: You are quoting from your poem "For Annie", written shortly before your own death in 1849. It has turned out to be a rather controversial poem. Some think Annie was a type of poison, a plan you had made to commit suicide?
Poe: (leaning forward toward the narrator with a sparkle in his eyes). Or perhaps my love for a woman named Annie, whom I refer to as Nancy. Were you aware she later changed her name legally to Nancy, to accommodate my personal fancy? ( a serene smile appeared ).
Narrator: Yes I do sir. In truth, there are so many aspects of your life I would love to explore, (the narrator pauses for a brief moment out of silent respect).  Yet to even attempt such a feat would take weeks, months, or perhaps years. It is needful my focus today to remain in tact, to specifically ask how women influenced your life, particularly in your early childhood years. Some "Poe enthusiasts" which I am included ( a rather proud smile on the face of the narrator),  think this was the very heart and motivation to writing your stories and poems. 
Poe: ( pausing and then looking into the narrator's eyes not speaking a word. He raised his left hand with one finger in the air)  My life has taught me that a beautiful woman is to be written about. The problem arose when I did, it equally condemned her to her death. That being said, the death of a beautiful woman is unquestionably the most poetical topic in the world. 
Narrator" A quote from your "The Philosophy of Composition?" I believe you penned that in 1846 and if my memory serves me correctly, it was first published in Graham's magazine.
Poe: You impress me sir. Yes, the intent of the composition was to convey how good writers write well. Of course, I am of the opinion women play a key role in our ability to write well. 
 (once again, a serene smile.)
Image result for photos of edgar allan poeNarrator: Picking up on your last statement, how did a woman become a key role in your various writings and what or whom I might say helped lead you to this conclusion? 
Poe: I will begin with a summary statement: all the women I loved, I loved alone. Allow me to explain. My biological parents were both traveling actors. My father, David Poe, left my mother when I was but one year of age. I never knew him. Yet my mother had an early impact on my life.
 My mother's name is Elizabeth, although she was lovingly called Eliza. She was born in London and joined my father in the hopes of finding successful acting careers. My mother was of rare beauty and I was not quite three years old when she died. I have always carried vivid memories of her in my mind. I distinctly remember her perform one evening as I sat watching ever so intently.  She slightly coughed during her performance and I noticed a small amount of blood on her lips. She wiped her blood with a cloth. It was then I was about to learn of the dreaded disease we refer to as... consumption.
 Consumption was a horrible disease in my day. It weakens the body and soul while  demanding...much blood. Soon after that evening with our funds being low, we moved to Richmond Virginia. We lived in a rather poor and shoddy boarding home. On the night of her death, December 8th, 1811, she had indeed coughed up so much blood she became delirious. The very first true love of my life was about to die and I had only her blood stains on my clothing to take with me and face a world without her.
 I did keep a small miniature of her and it remained with me wherever I journeyed for quite some time. A short time later I learned my father had also passed. He passed just a few days after my mother. (Poe bows his head momentarily in what appears to be a moment of deep thought, the images he described seemingly flashing through his mind. He then gives a rather deep sigh, raises his head, and looks directly into the eyes of the narrator.)
Narrator: It must have been, well, what words could express or comfort the horror you witnessed at such a young age.
Poe: The imprint of these events with my mother are quite real to me. Consumption was a disease that had been feared for centuries. We didn't have antibiotics then and sanitation, housing, and nutrition were virtually unknown. My memory is simply one where love was removed and only a trail of blood remained. I wish my first love would have ended with the word "nevermore", but quite the contrary. I was to be the recipient of various and horrendous deaths with female companions. Yes, one must take note, this blood-filled journey began at a very early age of my life.
Narrator: Mr. Poe, it is deeply moving to hear of your initial and quite violent experience with blood. Unlike today's society, where a mere paper cut is thought to be gruesome, you were exposed to blood and death all around you. If that wasn't enough, this came at such a young age to the very people you loved. Any further thoughts that might give the listeners a 'feel" of what you were facing?
Poe: Any other thoughts you ask? ( Poe raises his eyes rather upward, then looks directly into the eyes of the narrator.) I would reply to your question with the words written by Lord Byron ( Poe now leans forward in almost anticipated excitement): "What is the worst of woes that wait on age? What stamps the wrinkle deeper on the brow? To view each loved one blotted from life's page, and be alone on earth, as I am now."
Narrator: You paint your experience with passion. Lord Byron is one of your favorite poets or so I have read. You have revealed a frightful series of worrisome thoughts, leaving one to consider the depth of feeling alone with the blood of your first true love only to confirm the reality of death.
 Dear Mr. Poe, I would like to continue our conversation, there are so many questions I have. May we take a break and return sir?
Poe: Certainly. I might add although the loss of my dear mother brought to me a deep sorrow, I was later to discover how words have no power to express what is in the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality.
 There is a bell to the right of you sir, just ring when you are ready to continue.
Narrator: Thank-you Mr. Poe, or should I say Mr. Pym? Horror being exquisite? An almost oxymoron in many circles, yet seems to have become the core of your writing. I am eager to speak with you soon!