"A dear friend decided it was time to leave"

I have a friend from my childhood years.We really had some fun times, innocent and full of laughter. We both went our separate ways as we volunteered for manhood to enjoy a season of being adults. As the decades passed, we found ourselves engaged in various phases of life including watching our children play in the sand, pursuing careers that demanded much of our time, and having someone love you like no other (well, my friend was actually better at experiencing this than I was. I had a couple of "crash and burn" relationships that has marked certain periods of my adulthood as...let's say "less poetic"). Both my friend and I even met Jesus along the way during some of our various experiences. Then one day I read where my dear childhood friend had hung himself...in a room... all alone. His season of adulthood suddenly came to a close.  At the funeral there was sincere comfort given to everyone who came to weep; losing a friend or loved one is hard enough in life, yet seems especially hard when it "back doors you",  a person never seems quite ready for events like this.  
 At the funeral people took solace knowing my friend had been introduced to Jesus earlier in his adult life. Now he was able to find true peace and joy because my friend was now with Jesus, best friends forever... at least that is what people were saying as many came to pay their final respects that day. This season of adulthood had done some terrible things to my friend, much of the damage appeared to be in his own heart and mind, discouraging thoughts that kept creeping around his adult life. Apparently his battles within became monumental, to the point he thought it best to leave.

 What exactly justifies suicide and if it is not the best choice, why do people continue to do it?

 Judaism, Islam, and Christianity all frown on suicide stating it is not the way God intended for us to leave this earth. Is it a crime? Is it a humble gesture, like participating in a hunger strike because others are being persecuted... which might lead to death? Is it for a cause or of national interest that drives a suicide bomber or a pilot to sacrifice their own life and the lives of others, often times their own religion declaring suicide is wrong? 
 Adding to these opinions of suicide are biblical stories themselves like the story of Samson recorded in the book of Judges, chapter sixteen. In this passage Samson put an end to his life by pushing aside large support pillars that caused an entire public structure to collapse, killing him along with many others. Although there is strong argument this event was not a suicidal one, it is factual Samson premeditated his own death. Later in the New Testament in the letter to the Hebrews chapter eleven, verse thirty two, Samson is listed as a man who died in faith.
 Many various and interesting thoughts have been given to why a suicide happens. Equally, many reasons are given to why people choose suicide as a viable option to problems in life.The bible itself writes of seven different individuals who died by suicide (although the Scriptures do not condone these examples), and yet today mental health studies conclude suicide is not a healthy option with a strong emphasis on getting help at the first sign of suicidal thoughts entering one's mind. 

 For myself, I had to clarify a few things in my mind in reference to suicide, first being the definition of this word we refer to as: suicide. The Oxford dictionary describes suicide as " the act of killing oneself intentionally. It is a violent act carried out by a person who does not expect to survive it." The word suicide has a Latin origin, suicidium, which simply means to kill oneself.
 Secondly, I need to refine the word a bit and conclude suicide has two basic forms, selfish and unselfish acts. Unselfish acts to me is sacrificing one's life for the sake of others. Selfish acts are ones that are done because life has got too overwhelming and the rationale becomes it is the only option left. It is these selfish acts of suicide I would like to address.

 How does it happen? How does one get so overwhelmed with problems and issues they are facing that they choose to end it all. I realize this is a large amount of territory to cover and there are exceptions to either reason for this choice. I would like to focus on the why, why most suicides seem to take place.
 After personal research for the last few weeks (some have dedicated their entire lives to suicide prevention etc.), I have found a lot of truth in this statement: Suicide is a denial of hope.
 I think anytime individuals begin to replace healthy emotions like contentment, peace of mind, the simple joys of life, and gratitude for what we have, with unhealthy emotions like worry, shame, confusion, disappointments which leads to more toxic emotions like fear, despair, anxiety, or to give up on our dreams, we are in the beginning stages of possible dangers. Further studies indicate if one continues on this downward spiral path it can lead to discouragement and eventually into chronic depression.
  I read a quote relating to discouragement describing the devil as a type of surgeon: "Discouragement is simply an anesthetic the devil uses before he reaches in and carves out your heart."

 As I continued to refine this search I am on, this "denial of hope" became foremost in my mind. Since I embrace the Christian faith and continue to put my trust in my friendship with Christ Jesus, I thought what do the Scriptures write  in reference to hope and how could it help to turn one away from this downward path.  Although there are a number of passages of Scripture in reference to hope, the verse that seemed to grip me the most is from 1 Corinthians 13:13.  From the Living Bible Translation it reads: " Three things will last forever---faith, hope, and love---and the greatest of these is love."
 In a personal gleaning format, I read this verse like this: " There are three things that are not only for the now...but will be here forever. They are faith, hope, and love. Love is the most powerful of these three virtues because it becomes the fresh and mature fruit nurtured by faith and hope. Love satisfies the hunger within us and has plenty to share among your friends."

 For many when they hear this verse of Scripture read, the impression is left that love is more important than faith and hope. I don't find that to be true. Each virtue has a purpose and love is the vehicle to distribute these virtues, staring in ourselves and reaching out to others.
 I live in a home and small acreage that has been passed down through almost three generations of my family. Over the years we all have changed or added to the landscape of the home. What I noticed many years ago were the choices of plants and bushes planted by my great grandparents, my grandparents, and what choices I had made in recent years. My former generation of relatives planted a variety of bushes that still bloom colorful leaves in certain intervals throughout the year. The thing I notice most, each bush seems to have its turn. There are red bushes in the early year, followed by the white and yellow flowers of honeysuckle bushes, ground cover bringing forth purple flowers, and crab apple trees bringing white flowers, all over lapping or coming into bloom in their own separate times. After that, the Bradford pear tree burst out into white blossoms, then when the pear tree has concluded, the pink dogwood blossoms begin to appear, followed by tiger and Asian lilies. The daffodils have come and gone by the time lilies blossom, and the rose bushes are beginning to bloom everywhere. I don't want to forget about three lilac bushes that produce beautiful scents as their blooms come forth in spring. As summer wears on and fall begins its entrance, the rich red firebushes begin show off their colors while evergreen trees and bushes remain different shades of green throughout the entire year.  
 I think of those virtues written in 1 Corinthians 13 as I watch the various colors of plant life throughout the year. There are no plants, bushes, or trees that I can honestly say are more important than another, rather it is each one has their appointed time and purpose. I think faith, hope, and love are like that, each one having its special and unique purpose.

Like I had mentioned earlier in reference to a quote on how the devil uses discouragement as an anesthetic before he carves out a person's heart, I think God's anesthetic is hope...and hope has the power to promote healing in the human heart, not allowing thoughts of suicide to find any room to destroy the individual.
Hope has some unique qualities of its own. It can liberate, encourage, motivate, urge one to follow their dreams, and unleash compassion, beginning with one's self and sharing it with others.

 So, where does one find some hope?...it's in there...the Sacred Scripture. Actually there are numerous verses sprinkled throughout and as one reads a certain passage and allows it to blossom in the heart, mixing it with a little faith, love can come. Just like the various plants, bushes, and trees on my homestead, you can read another passage, then another, throughout the year and allow hope to blossom in different colors throughout life.

As for my friend?...I am confident he is with Him, yet I will miss him. I can learn from this, and even though his decision to go out this way was horrible, his death has got me thinking...  discovering new ways hope can have more influence in my life.